Polly Barton, an acclaimed translator of Japanese fiction and author of two non-fiction works, is poised to make her mark on the literary fiction scene with her debut novel, What Am I, A Deer?, slated for release on March 26. The novel immediately captivates readers with an opening anecdote: the narrator’s breathless recollection of performing Céline Dion at a school show in a gold satin nightie. This vivid, immediate, and retrospectively reflective introduction establishes a tone that is simultaneously confessional and clinical, dissecting and refreshingly unashamed, signaling Barton’s distinctive narrative voice and thematic ambition.
The narrative of What Am I, A Deer? follows its protagonist as she relocates from the United Kingdom to Frankfurt for a translation role within a video gaming company. Her new life takes an unexpected turn during a morning commute when a chance encounter with a stranger ignites an intense, all-consuming crush that becomes a central preoccupation, driving much of the novel’s internal exploration. Through the lens of the narrator’s internal monologues, Barton masterfully uses fiction as a vehicle to delve into a range of complex contemporary topics, including heteropessimism, the pervasive influence of corporate capitalism, and the surprising unifying theory of translation found within karaoke.
An Established Voice in Literary Translation and Non-Fiction
Before venturing into the realm of fiction, Polly Barton had already cemented her reputation as a significant figure in the literary world. Her prolific career as a translator of Japanese fiction has introduced English-speaking audiences to a diverse array of critically acclaimed works. Notable translations under her belt include Asako Yuzuki’s compelling Butter, Kikuko Tsumura’s incisive There’s No Such Thing as an Easy Job, and Mieko Kanai’s intriguing Mild Vertigo. These translations have not only showcased her linguistic prowess but also her deep understanding of narrative nuances and cultural contexts, earning her widespread recognition and several accolades within the translation community.
Beyond translation, Barton has also authored two critically praised works of non-fiction. Her 2019 book, Porn: An Oral History, explored the multifaceted world of pornography through personal testimonies, offering a nuanced and often provocative examination of desire, power, and perception. This was followed by Fifty Sounds in 2021, a highly innovative work that delved into the Japanese language through its rich array of mimetic words (onomatopoeia and mimesis), using them as a springboard to explore broader themes of cultural identity, language acquisition, and the subjective experience of sound. These earlier works demonstrated Barton’s willingness to tackle unconventional subjects with intellectual rigor and a deeply personal touch, traits that resonate strongly within her debut novel. The transition to fiction, therefore, represents not a departure but an evolution in her literary exploration, allowing for a new mode of inquiry into the human condition.
Translation as a Metaphor for Life’s Mediations
At the core of What Am I, A Deer? lies the pervasive theme of translation, which extends far beyond the narrator’s professional life. Barton views translation as one of three fundamental elements—alongside violent crushes and karaoke—that serve as complex mediating forces between her protagonist and the external world. These elements, she posits, are sites where the inherent human desire for connection and the individual self converge in often "tricksy" ways. Ostensibly offering avenues for self-release and communion, they paradoxically lead the narrator back to a deeper, often uncomfortable, examination of herself.
Barton articulated this perspective in a recent interview, stating, "I see translation as one of a trio of things in the protagonist’s life — along with violent crushes and karaoke — where there’s some kind of complex mediation going on between her and the outside world. They’re all sites where the desire for connection and the self come together in an almost tricksy way. All of them ostensibly a way of getting outside of herself, and offering release, and communion, but all of them in a way coming back again and again to herself." This statement highlights a central tension in the novel: the human impulse to transcend the self versus the inevitable return to one’s own subjective experience.
The author also challenges traditional genre boundaries, expressing a disinterest in rigid distinctions between fiction and non-fiction. For Barton, the primary difference lies in reader expectations rather than intrinsic content. She admires writing that blurs these lines, seeing the novel form not as a dictator of content but as a liberating structure. This approach allowed her greater freedom to "take bolder leaps, to do less explaining," and to fully immerse herself in "rendering an imaginative world on the page," enabling a depth of exploration not always afforded by her previous non-fiction endeavors. This genre fluidity is a hallmark of much contemporary literature, where authors increasingly leverage the strengths of various forms to create richer, more complex narratives.
Karaoke: A Profound Act of Self-Expression and Transformation
A particularly distinctive and significant thread woven through What Am I, A Deer? is the serious consideration of karaoke, which Barton elevates from a mere recreational activity to a profound act of self-expression and transformation. The author’s personal experience of the shifting perception of karaoke in the UK—from a largely dismissed, ‘lowbrow’ activity to a more accepted social pastime—forms a crucial backdrop. Having returned from Japan with a deep appreciation for its transformative power, Barton found a creative impetus in the dissonance between her profound experiences and the incredulity of others.
Barton passionately believes in the "transformative power" of karaoke, drawing a compelling parallel between it and the act of translation. Both involve "becoming someone else while also remaining yourself." In karaoke, one sings a song "already been written for you, and sung," much like a translator reinterprets an existing text. This act allows the narrator, who is depicted as deeply self-conscious and uncomfortable in her own skin, to inhabit another voice, paradoxically feeling most comfortable and liberated when performing. "The narrator is really uncomfortable with herself, terribly self-conscious, and when she is nominally inhabiting another voice, she feels most comfortable in herself. That’s the paradox I wanted to centre in on," Barton explained. This exploration delves into the psychological aspects of performance and identity, suggesting that stepping into a borrowed persona can unlock a truer, more uninhibited self.
The cultural context of karaoke is also implicitly explored. While popular in the West, its origins in Japan imbue it with a different social significance, often serving as a vital outlet for emotional expression in a society that values restraint. Barton’s experience highlights how cultural activities, when viewed through a specific lens, can reveal universal truths about human emotion and connection.
Navigating Modern Desire: Heteropessimism and the Anatomy of Obsession
What Am I, A Deer? critically engages with contemporary relationship dynamics, particularly the concept of heteropessimism. This term, gaining increasing traction in feminist and queer theory, describes the phenomenon where heterosexual women express dissatisfaction or even contempt for heterosexual relationships and male partners, often wishing they could be attracted to women instead. Barton draws directly from personal experiences and observations, noting that "so many women have said to me that they wish they liked other women" or expressed sentiments like, "I’m attracted to men, but I don’t find them attractive."
The novel uses fiction as a potent vehicle to explore these complex, often "gauche and tangled" feelings, providing a relatable and sometimes "ridiculous" depiction of the internal conflicts between conscious and unconscious desires. Barton argues that while theoretical frameworks are crucial for understanding such phenomena, fiction’s focus on the particular can "get right to the heart of it in a very different way to theory," making these abstract concepts viscerally real for the reader. The narrator’s musings after a breakup and a letter from her ex-partner serve as key moments where these themes surface with stark clarity.
The book is also an incisive "anatomy of obsession," tracing the protagonist’s all-consuming crush. Barton meticulously details the intoxicating, drug-like quality of infatuation, which plunges the narrator into an "altered state" of "blind hope and intoxication." The prose itself reflects this intensity, described by Barton as having a "soupiness" that emulates the feeling of being steeped in this heightened emotional world. The climax of this obsession, however, is not necessarily fulfillment but rather the "shattering of the fantasy" and the confrontation with reality, which inevitably contains an element of the ridiculous. "A crush is just a lack of information," as Barton quotes, highlighting how the allure often resides in the unknown and the imagined rather than the concrete. This exploration of desire, fantasy, and disillusionment resonates with universal experiences of love and longing in the modern age.
Intergenerational Echoes and the Unarticulated Self
Another layer of thematic depth in the novel is introduced through the narrator’s German-speaking grandmother, a figure who represents the unspoken and unarticulated aspects of the protagonist’s self. The narrator feels a profound, almost inherited, claim on the German language despite not speaking it, suggesting a "seepage" of identity and history that transcends conscious understanding. Barton views this dynamic as central to the book’s concern with "the rift between the conscious and the unconscious mind, what we can articulate to ourselves versus what we can’t."
The grandmother embodies elements of the narrator that she is unable to "consciously own or face," including aspects of intergenerational trauma and other less clear-cut experiences that resist linear explanation. This unspoken connection to language and heritage subtly "lurks there, kind of pressing in at the walls of consciousness," adding a layer of psychological complexity and historical depth to the narrator’s journey of self-discovery. This aspect touches upon the broader implications of cultural memory and the ways in which ancestral experiences can shape individual identity, even across linguistic and temporal divides.
Literary Craft and Anticipated Impact
Barton’s literary craft in What Am I, A Deer? is characterized by a distinctive narrative voice that is both immediate and reflective, allowing for raw emotional honesty tempered by intellectual dissection. The novel’s structure, though fictional, draws heavily on the author’s expertise in non-fiction, particularly her oral history approach, to create a deeply personal and introspective narrative. This blending of genres and styles is indicative of a broader trend in contemporary literature, where authors are increasingly experimenting with form to explore the complexities of modern identity.
The novel is poised to contribute significantly to ongoing literary and cultural discussions. Its frank exploration of heteropessimism and the anatomy of obsession offers a fresh perspective on female interiority and desire in an era marked by shifting gender roles and relationship paradigms. The expatriate experience, the challenges of navigating a new culture, and the alienating aspects of corporate work also feature prominently, making it relevant to a wide readership grappling with similar contemporary challenges.
As What Am I, A Deer? makes its debut on March 26, it is anticipated to solidify Polly Barton’s position not just as a revered translator and non-fiction writer, but as a compelling new voice in literary fiction. Her ability to transform seemingly disparate elements—from pop music performances to linguistic theory—into a cohesive and profoundly resonant narrative promises a novel that is both intellectually stimulating and deeply human. The book invites readers to consider the paradoxes of self-expression, the intricate nature of connection, and the unexpected places where profound truths can be found.
